Random Thoughts During A Random Teeth Cleaning
The other day I got a phone call from a number that I vaguely recognized. “I know that number from somewhere…” so I decided to answer it. It was my dentist’s office reminding me that I was due for a teeth cleaning and they had an opening that very afternoon. Son of a b–
So, what the hell… I’ll bite the bullet and get it over with. Sure, they had sent the reminder card in the mail a few weeks ago, but who actually sets aside time for that kind of pain? It’s better I guess to just get it sprung on you so you don’t spend time fretting about it. This teeth cleaning took just over an hour, which if you ask me is a pretty long time.
Here’s a few things that ran through my head, while I sat there staring at a blank ceiling:
- Seriously, are you using a scythe for scraping my teeth?
- Has anyone ever bleed to death in here?
- I need the water spray, like now…
- …you already went over that spot…
- do you think dental hygienists like their job? I would hate scraping crap off someone else’s teeth… And there are some pretty ugly teeth out there.
- I think I hear someone crying in the other room
- I NEED THE WATER SPRAY!
- Where else do people go for this kind of pain? Why do we do it?
- I think I’m going to gag on her knuckles they are so far down my throat.
- PLEASE, GIVE ME THE DAMN SPRAY!
- I could probably make her feel just as uncomfortable as I am feeling if I just stared into her eyes the whole time.