Random Thoughts During A Random Teeth Cleaning

The other day I got a phone call from a number that I vaguely recognized.  "I know that number from somewhere..."  so I decided to answer it.  It was my dentist's office reminding me that I was due for a teeth cleaning and they had an opening that very afternoon.   Son of a b--

So, what the hell... I'll bite the bullet and get it over with.  Sure, they had sent the reminder card in the mail a few weeks ago, but who actually sets aside time for that kind of pain?  It's better I guess to just get it sprung on you so you don't spend time fretting about it.  This teeth cleaning took just over an hour, which if you ask me is a pretty long time.

Here's a few things that ran through my head, while I sat there staring at a blank ceiling:

• Seriously, are you using a scythe for scraping my teeth?
• Has anyone ever bleed to death in here?
• I need the water spray, like now...
• ...you already went over that spot...
• do you think dental hygienists like their job?  I would hate scraping crap off someone else's teeth... And there are some pretty ugly teeth out there.
• I think I hear someone crying in the other room
• I NEED THE WATER SPRAY!
• Where else do people go for this kind of pain?  Why do we do it?
• I think I'm going to gag on her knuckles they are so far down my throat.
• PLEASE, GIVE ME THE DAMN SPRAY!
• I could probably make her feel just as uncomfortable as I am feeling if I just stared into her eyes the whole time.