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5 Things My Dad Taught Me: The Right Way To Play Slot Machines, Stupid.

(Photo by Bruce Bennett/Getty Images)

My dad likes to gamble.  It’s his fun thing to do.  He’s been to Vegas many times, so many times that when I was lost in Vegas I called him and he gave me directions back to my hotel over the phone.

He’s not a card player.  He likes the slot machines.  Today Cathy and I were talking about how strange my dad is with slot machines.

I bet you didn’t know there was strategies involved with slot machines, did you?  Here’s what my dad tells me when I play slots with him.

Rule #1:   NEVER, I mean NEVER interrupt the song or jingle that plays when you win something, even if it’s a small amount of credits. You’ll show the machine you’re impatient and you’ll just lose all your money.

Rule #2:  FREE SPINS ONLY!  BONUS GAMES ARE STUPID. If you’re going to play a slot machine that has bonuses, pick one with free spins.  Not the games, because you’ll always regret which door you picked in the bonus game.

Rule #3.  If you’re not winning, try the button pushing sequence. It’s a trick that has never worked for me, but apparently my dad swears by it.  Start with the buttons and push them across one by one.  Then return the game to your previous bets and bet.  It resets the system.  (Ok dad.)

Rule #4.  Get a rewards card! If you don’t have a rewards card, what’s the point of gambling.

Rule #5.  Make sure you claim your rewards and balances from a person. That way you can butter them up and get better deals.

Thanks Dad for teaching me the things I need to know to get ahead in this tough world.  And thanks for all the buffet meals that you’ve comped me.

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