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8 Things I Learned On A Crappy Sunday


(Photo by Matt Cardy/Getty Images)

Yesterday was a bad day.  Nothing went right and even simple things got horribly complicated.  I had a few simple projects to do around the house and it ended up taking all day. Here’s some things I learned yesterday from my bad day.

1.  A 3 year old doesn’t understand that poop is “icky.”  So if it gets smeared all over the wall it’s not a big deal.  And one wall isn’t enough.  Let’s touch another wall with our crap soaked hands.  I went through quite a bit of bleach yesterday.

2.  When bleaching, never spray the ceiling when you are standing beneath it. I spent quite a bit of time flushing my left eye with water.

3.  Read the instructions on how to open a tube of expensive caulk before you look like an idiot. I’d never seen a tube so hard to open.  It took like nine steps.

4.  Don’t buy the cheapest caulk gun you can find. I knew I had one at home somewhere, but I couldn’t find it.  So I bought a cheap one that worked like crap.

5.  Don’t store caulk in the caulk gun in freezing conditions. After I found my old caulk gun, it still had the old silicone tube in it.  Frustrated, I tried to take the tube out that had frozen to the gun.  I bent the hell out of the gun.

6.  Think extra hard about what light fixture you’re going to use. Long story short – I needed to replace the kitchen light and I was trying to be cheap and use an extra light fixture a friend gave me.  I installed it, which took about 30 minutes.  After I was done, I realized it was an only 1 bulb light, max wattage 40 watts.  A candle would put out more light.  A trip to menards later, I bought the brightest damn light you’ve ever seen.  Now I realize how dirty the wallpaper, floors, appliances, and every other stupid thing in the kitchen is.

8.  Listen to your wife when she’s trying to help. How could this woman know anything about wiring?  I’m the man, I know everything, right?  Wrong stupid.  After I spent 5 minutes trying to mount the fixture and using every four letter word, my wife made the simple suggestion of rotating about 5 times before I listened.  She was right.



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