Since I married my wife almost 3 months ago, there have been a lot of questions.  How's married life?  Did you enjoy your honeymoon?  Have things felt different since you've gotten married?  Have you got your Sam's Club membership yet?  Wait... What?  Now that I'm married, I need to buy in bulk?  Apparently so.  So I made a big step today and I bought in bulk.  I'm still not sure if I did the right thing, because I did spend A LOT of money.  But at least I know I have a freezer full of food that will save me for the following 5 reasons...

5.  Drunk late night snacks in the freezer. Let's be honest, sometimes you get home late from a bar and you are starving!  Pizza place has closed.  No other delivery place is open and you obviously can't drive to the 24 hour gas station.  No fear!  I just bought 72 mini tacos!  Score!

4.  Unexpected guests. So you are having a bbq and you've got some friends coming over.  Next thing you know, they've invited friends, and their friends have invited friends.  Oh no!  I only have enough for 4 people!  Don't worry, you can feed them some of the 50 pre-made hamburger patties that come in a box for $15, and save the good stuff for yourself. (actually those patties are pretty good.)

3.  Toilet paper. Toilet paper is like the duct tape of the house.  You can use it for everything!  Napkins, kleenex, clean out your ears, paper towelin in a pinch, etc.  Plus, you never have to worry about running out of it, because that is a panic when it happens.

2.  How can you afford to pass up a gallon of baked beans? You just can't.  Period.

1.  Nuclear Holocausts/ End Of The World Situations.   So China starts lobbing nukes our way, don't worry America, I have 600 plastic forks I got for $4.74, I'll be set.  Or maybe global warming will finally catch us?  I have enough frozen meat to cool me off for months, and when it thaws, I'll eat it like a man.  Even better, we get attacked by zombies.  Well I've got...  well I've got nothing for that, you can't buy ammo in bulk at these places.  But in any other situation, I'm good to go.