10 Man Laws For Deer Camp
1. No whining. Not even about not seeing deer. If it was guaranteed it would be called deer killing, not deer hunting.
2. Sleeping arrangements are on first come first serve basis. If you don’t want to sleep on the strangely stained mattress, get there earlier and pick your spot.
3. If you’re the first person up, make coffee. And it better not be decaf.
4. Phone calls to wives and girlfriends must be under 10 minutes long, and be taken outside the shack.
5. If it’s brown, it’s down. As long as you have the tag, shoot a deer! We didn’t haul all of this crap up here to go home without a deer. If you want a trophy buck, you can still hunt after with the party’s tags. Just get a deer!
6. Drink Thy Own Beer. Don’t be the shmuck that drinks another man’s beer. Unless offered.
7. Every meal has meat. This isn’t the place to be a sissy vegitarian. We’re hunting meat. Hunting vegetables is too easy.
8. Pee in relatively the same spot in the yard. Especially if it’s snow covered. Otherwise you have an entire yard full of piss graffiti.
9. Hold your liquor like a man. If you’re gonna get drunk, you get drunk in a civilized way. Nobody wants to pick up a sack of stupid from the floor and have to pour you into bed.
10. Wear deodorant, please. I don’t care if you think the deer can smell your deodorant. If you smell like onions and burritos, you’re going to be sleeping in the woods.