My Cat’s Daily Routine To Drive Me Crazy
I'll be honest - I do love our cat. That doesn't mean I like her. She must have a checklist to follow everyday to insure she drives me crazy. I think I got it nailed down:
4:15 AM- Wake up Ken 15 minutes before his alarm goes off... just to piss him off.
4:50 AM - Sit outside of the bathroom door meowing while Ken showers.
5:00 AM - Try to race Ken down the stairs and get underneath his foot.... just to piss him off.
5:10 AM - Send Ken off to work, with a lengthy meow.
5:11 AM - 1:30 PM - Be adorable and well behaved for the rest of the family.
1:31 PM - Greet Ken as he gets home, meow incessantly until he picks me up.
1:35 PM - Bite Ken on the hand for no reason at all.
2:00 PM - Eat all the cat food in my bowl. Then knock over the bag of cat food and eat more until I'm stuffed.
2:30 PM - Find some upholstery to throw up on.
2:45 PM - Lick Ken in the face.
4:00 PM - Find vomit, partially eat it. Alert Ken to clean up the rest.
5:00-8PM- Catch up on sleep
8:30 PM - Jump into kid's bed/ wake him up after he finally falls asleep
9-10:30 PM - Relentlessly attack Christmas tree.
11PM - ? - Chase Christmas ornaments around the hardwood floor.
Like I said. I love our cat, but that doesn't mean she's the sweetest thing ever.