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My Cat’s Daily Routine To Drive Me Crazy

photo: Ken Hayes

I’ll be honest – I do love our cat.  That doesn’t mean I like her.  She must have a checklist  to follow everyday to insure she drives me crazy.  I think I got it nailed down:

4:15 AM-  Wake up Ken 15 minutes before his alarm goes off… just to piss him off.

4:50 AM – Sit outside of the bathroom door meowing while Ken showers.

5:00 AM – Try to race Ken down the stairs and get underneath his foot…. just to piss him off.

5:10 AM – Send Ken off to work, with a lengthy meow.

5:11 AM – 1:30 PM -  Be adorable and well behaved for the rest of the family.

1:31 PM – Greet Ken as he gets home, meow incessantly until he picks me up.

1:35 PM -  Bite Ken on the hand for no reason at all.

2:00 PM -  Eat all the cat food in my bowl.  Then knock over the bag of cat food and eat more until I’m stuffed.

2:30 PM – Find some upholstery to throw up on.

2:45 PM – Lick Ken in the face.

4:00 PM – Find vomit, partially eat it.  Alert Ken to clean up the rest.

5:00-8PM-  Catch up on sleep

8:30 PM – Jump into kid’s bed/ wake him up after he finally falls asleep

9-10:30 PM – Relentlessly attack Christmas tree.

11PM – ? – Chase Christmas ornaments around the hardwood floor.

Like I said.  I love our cat, but that doesn’t mean she’s the sweetest thing ever.

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