10 Signs You’re Not Ready To Run Grandma’s Marathon
It's down to the final days before Grandma's Marathon, and you may be wondering, am I ready? Here's some signs that you may not be ready.
1. You've already been carb loading for months, but have yet to actually run.
2. So far the only runs you've had, have been on the toilet.
3. You get exhausted just driving to Two Harbors.
4. Your doctor suggests you carry an AED unit with you when you run.
5. You only get 5 mpg. That's 5 miles running and consuming one gallon of water.
6. You bring the laundry upstairs, and you're already winded.
7. Your family and friends are planning an intervention for your safety to please quit this idea.
8. You find yourself hoping/praying a catastrophe will cancel the marathon.
9. While training, the sound of you panting and staggering makes people mistake you for a zombie.
10. Vultures circle over head on your training path, they know when animal looks like its ready to drop.