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10 Signs It’s Too Hot In The Twin Ports!

(Photo by Spencer Platt/Getty Images)

For the first 6 weeks of summer we were complaining that it was too cold.  Well, we finally got what we asked for.  It’s hot and humid!  How do we know it’s too hot?  I’ll give you some indicators.

1.  You’ve gone to the store trying to find an air conditioner and they are all gone. Yep, way to go stupid.  You waited until the last minute like everyone else.  Now you’re buying another box fan and have this handy raincheck slip so you can get one when they arrive in October.

2.  Your pets don’t even want to go outside. Just looking out the window makes dogs pant and cats shed hair.  We have brushed blankets of hair off our cat.

3.  You go outside and it looks like a ghost town. Seriously, yesterday I drove to the grocery store and there wasn’t anyone on the streets!  It was like the town had been evacuated.  There was hardly anyone in the grocery store either!

4.  If you’re lucky enough to have an air conditioner, you may have noticed your windows foggy. The humidity and heat were so bad yesterday that moisture condensed on the outside of our window – much like the mirror in your bathroom after you take a hot shower.

5.  Your utility bill is the same in July as it is in January. Usually we get a break in the summer months since we don’t have to pay the heat bill.  With two air conditioners, tw0 box fans, and the ice maker going over time, the electric bill pretty much goes through the roof.

4.  You don’t want to touch your family. Everyone stay away and don’t touch me.  It’s too hot for hugs, cuddling, or even just brushing up against me.  I need my personal bubble when it’s this hot.  Oh- and nothing is grosser than accidentally brushing up to someone’s sweaty arms in line.  ICK!

3.  Hot meals?  Yeah right. Unless I can withstand the heat long enough to grill a hot dog, we are having cold sandwiches until the heat wave is over.

2.  Pit stains. Nothing quite says heat wave like rings of pit sweat.  When it’s this hot it even happens on skinny people.

1.  Butt Sweat. We’ve all had it.  Come on, don’t be ashamed.  It’s also known as Swamp Butt.  This condition is very uncomfortable, feels gross, and leads to increased incidences of wedgies.  Only comfort is proper wind flow and air drying.

10.  It’s so hot you forget how to count. I didn’t notice I had gone from 1-5 and then back down to one.  I blame the heat.  So really there was only 9.  Luckily, this will make and even 10.  Thanks Nate for the comment.

 

 

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